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J. D. Pendry


Up the hollar, there was no Charmin hanging in the outhouse.  Some old newspapers, probably last years Sears and Roebuck catalogue and some wore out True Romance magazines.  We’d read news articles from the paper and give them our editorial response in one fell swoop or swipe.  Thanks to Charmin and indoor plumbing, some “journalism” no longer gets the recognition it so richly deserves.


Do you know what really angers me about Newsweek - other than being an old soldier who takes it personally when ill informed fatheads spread lies about soldiers?  I know what happens at Gitmo.  I have my own unimpeachable, absolutely credible, with up-close knowledge source.  Newsweek’s official government source is likely a State Department or Intelligence Agency bureaucrat privy to intelligence and not friendly toward the Bush administration.  The difference is that my source has actual knowledge.


We handle with care the killers housed at Gitmo.  We feed them a diet that meets their religious needs and they have Korans because we gave them to them taking great care to make sure our infidel hands didn’t “desecrate” them.  We train our soldiers and constantly stress to them to treat the killers humanely and show respect for their cultural and religious practices.  We train them to do this and not to tolerate contrary conduct from others. 


In appreciation for their efforts, the killers routinely throw crap and urine on our soldiers who bring them their food and Korans - the physical kind as opposed to the literal kind the press throws at them.  Unlike I’d be prone to do, our well-disciplined soldiers do not take the ones that do that and jump up and down on their chests until they explode!  I’m waiting for the American news media to report on the professionalism of these young men and women – even once.  You know what else?  If this was a Bible-in-a-toilet story, some liberal would get a grant from the National Endowment for the Arts, put it in a museum and call it art!  It’d no doubt make the cover of Newsweek, the front page of the New York Times and get a glowing review from Katie on the Today Show!


Can I share a fallacy with you?  No left leaning news maggot gives a rat’s rear-end about the Holy Koran or anything else religious – unless it’s which religion Madonna is doing this week.  They have no problem pretending outrage, however, if it makes the American government and most especially the U.S. Military look bad.  I hope they didn’t fool you into believing this was about desecration of a religious book.  I’m curious about why the Anti Christian Litigation Union hasn’t complained about religious material being passed out at a government ran institution.  Oh, sorry, I forgot.  They only want to ban Bibles, which means they have much in common with the practitioners of the religion of peace.  Enter Saudi Arabia with a Bible and the customs officials will confiscate it and toss it in the paper shredder.  I have an idea.  Let’s get a gaggle of journalists, give them all Bibles, hang crosses around their necks and send them strolling through the countries governed by the religion of peace.  They can report to us on religious tolerance.  Some advice?  While you’re at it, don’t lose your head like the Reverend in this story might.


Did you hear about this one?  Palestinian killers (that’d be freedom fighters for you Newsweek journalists) took over the Church of the Nativity.  If you work at Newsweek and are not well informed this is where Christians believe Jesus Christ was born.  These practitioners of the religion of peace left whiskey bottles (are Muslims allowed whiskey now?) and cigarette butts scattered throughout the Church.  Oh, one other small point.  They used pages of the Bible for toilet paper.  We Christian fanatics didn’t riot, burn any government buildings or kill anyone – go figure.  We did something more evil in the eyes of liberals.  We prayed for them. 


America’s left wing journalists are doing to our military now, what our country allowed them to do to it during the Vietnam War.  Another news idiot (other than CNN) recently accused American soldiers of purposely killing journalists – with the emphasis being on Arab journalists.  Every time they publish inflammatory nonsense, they inspire a few more Imams to recruit a few more weak minded idiots who’ll strap on bombs and go collect their promised 72 virgins.  They’re costing lives and prolonging the fight.  Do you suppose they sleep well?


Is it any mystery why circulation of liberal leaning newspapers is down as is ratings for the old established broadcast media?  With each story, they flush a little more of their credibility down the toilet.



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J.D. Pendry is author of The Three Meter Zone, Random House/Ballantine.


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